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8 secrets about sex everyone should know:
1. Start Talking About Sex
Ironically, some of the best sex secrets are those men and women keep from each other, Dr. Joannides says. To have good sex, you need to talk about your likes and dislikes.
"One of the most important things to do is to ask and to listen," says Joannides. "A lot of guys are terrified that some people may think they don't know all the answers. Also, some guys think they do know all the answers."
It can be difficult to broach the sub
2. Don't Make Things Uncomfortable
Don't ask about what she or he doesn't like or what doesn't feel good. That puts a negative spin on it. Instead, ask her or him what feels best.
3. Switch Roles
For example, let her show you what she likes rather than tell you. "A really good thing to do is to say, 'Let's switch places here. I'd like you to kiss my chest just the way you'd like me to kiss yours,'" Joannides says. "Sit back and learn.”
Communication is a two-way street. Remember to let your partner know your likes and dislikes as well, including what gives you pleasure for maintaining an erection and having an orgasm.
4. Use Study Aides
"Try to get a book or two or three or four that you think your partner might enjoy," Joannides says. "Look through it with her and see what she's interested in. Sometimes it's easier that way because someone might not be comfortable telling you what they want to do, but they may see a photo and say, 'Hey, that looks interesting.'"
5. Share Your Fantasies
Remember that your brain is the most important sex organ in your body. Keep things fun and playful by talking over your fantasies with your partner. And don't feel like you should rid your mind of fantasies during sex — experts consider these fantasies an important way to kindle the desire that leads to erection and orgasm.
6. Get Creative
Try having sex in different places and at different times. Be playful and try out different positions. "Don't just do the same thing every night, every time," says Joannides. "It's easy to get into a rut and be really predictable. Sometimes with certain things predictability is good, and other times it isn't. It's a wise man who learns which is which."
7. Keep Porn Online
"Sometimes guys feel that what a woman wants is for them to be porn stars," Joannides notes. "That's probably one of the worst models for lovemaking you could ever have. It's trying to live your life like you were a character on Star Trek. It's a nice fantasy to watch. It wouldn't work if you tried to act it out in real life."
8. Stay Fit
Exercise has been shown to improve your sex life. For example, aerobic exercise improves blood flow, which is important in achieving an erection. It also can improve your sexual stamina and strength.
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